Nothing Special.

::sigh::

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 18:11:22 GMT

dear nate,

i'm a little disappointed.

love
jan

i'm not really suppose to be doing this at work, but....

Wed, 25 May 2005 16:45:22 GMT

happy birthday to you! happy birthday day dear
JooOOoOOoLIEeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy birthday to you

<3

.i'm.bored.

Tue, 10 May 2005 23:22:26 GMT

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

well obviously... how could have thunk overwise....

Thu, 21 Apr 2005 00:46:14 GMT

of course he has a girlfriend!!!! i feel like a "prize idiot" extra brownie points if anyone knows where that's from.

i want to get some geeky goldfishies.. two so they don't get lonely..

132006=universita di firenze,, i have my fingers crossed.

.bored at work.

<3

damn.

Mon, 27 Dec 2004 13:37:40 GMT

i've been staring at my celling for the past half an hour, and can't for the life of me fall asleep. i should just pop a half dozen tylenol PMs and close my eyes but there's a million things running through my head.

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
i went to the east coast ( well just the jfk airport), went to england and france and rode on the 'tube'

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
no not really, i'm not sure.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
no not that i know of

4. Did anyone close to you die?
no

5. What countries did you visit?
England and France

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
a digital camera and something real for once.

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
august 28th(my first name taken show)and whatever day i left for england.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
not really an "achievment" but i finally decided on a major. i'll work on 'achievments' next year

9. What was your biggest failure?
italian class, not getting back into photography like i planned and other personal issues that i'm not able to deal with at the moment.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
nope

11. What was the best thing you bought?
name taken cd, laptop

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
anyone that wasn't a mother effing asshole.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
me and my dad.

14. Where did most of your money go?
gas for my macchina and bills, tons and tons of overdue bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
seeing/hearing from certain people.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
oh dude i don't know. Maroon 5 song, because they overkilled that shit.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? i can't really say... i hope i'm not bi-polar.=/
ii. thinner or fatter? i weight about the same, but i seem rounder to me.
iii. richer or poorer? richers... 20 cent raise bitches!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Workout, been less anti-social, went to more shows, practiced the guitar

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
wallowing in self-pity, sat on my fat ass.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
i spent christmas at my cousins house and saw oceans 12, not all that great.

21. Did you fall in love in 2004
i thought i did, well no, not in love in like.. fuck scratch that. no i did not fall in love in 2004

22. How many one night stands?
that would be zero.

23. What was your favourite TV program?
the oc? ..hahh..

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
uh not really, i did wish sometimes she's fall head first on her pretty face. but just sometimes.

25. What was the best book you read?
this lullaby and how soon is never.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
name taken.

27. What did you want and get?
laptop.

28. What did you want and not get?
what kind of question is this?

29. What was are your favourite films of this year?
Garden State, I heart Huckabees

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i took myself to 3rd street in santa monica and watched a sappy girl movie and just walked around all day.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
understanding italian, made friends with the gorgeous guy in italian class. more shows. connected with people more.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
the i haven't really done any shopping since 2003 t-shirt and jeans.

33. What kept you sane?
immersing myself in song and movies.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
adam brody, and everyone in people magazine like 10 billion times, olsen twins, britney.. etc.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
not so much political issues because they all pretty much stirred me, but celebrities that told me to vote pissed me off.. like puffy daddy or whatever the hell he's called now.

36. Who did you miss?
no one really because i don't see anyone on a regular basis for me to miss.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
frank... he's the coolest, i hope i see him next semester.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
"... for silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking."

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
i'll get back to this one later.

i got a twenty-dollar bill.

Sat, 25 Dec 2004 18:39:32 GMT

it looks like it's going to be one of those where it's just me, your favorite weapon, deja endentu, and what it is to burn. and i'm retreating into the bubble with jesse and nate, and hoping that it'll just all.go.away. i refuse to let you guys fucking ruin this for me, i can do that well on my own.sing me something soft sad and delicate or loud and out of key sing me anything.... and i know that you're a sucker for anything acoustic....i was afraid of being alone, now i'm afraid that it's how i like to be. i don't care what anyone says jack and coke is not my friends..

<3

mother fucking WORD!!!!!!!!! <3

Sun, 05 Dec 2004 02:18:21 GMT


guitars are love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

that was funny.

man o man. i was suppose to update about the show about a week ago and couldn't get myself to do it because i'm a lazy ass. the show was good. see phillip for set list, he's good at making those. and i can't remember all of them in the right order anyways. met some, well actually quite a lot of phillips friends,and ate at roscoe's. it was my first show at a big venue, and first show without tara =( but i did get to talk to her a bit, but then again i'm not much of cellphone talker so she got a bit of dead air from me.. =/ sorry tara. oh and bums were yelling at us.. and it was cold, but a great overall experiance. very long drive home myself, but sometimes i need that. it sucks that no one understands, and it's my fault. it sucks even more that it took me fucking 19 years to figure that out. it's cold and rainy outside, i hope it clears out by tomorrow. i hate christmas shopping especially when there's no list... sorry i should know what to get you but the second i'm at the mall i blank.. i suck at this. malls hate me too. apparently i haven't been shopping in the longest because there's a MAC store now. everywhere i go things aren't the same anymore and it's upseting sorta, not just the mall either.and yay the semester is almost over...just the next week and finals week and i don't have to go back to school until... january i think.

hit me i can take your cheap shots

Thu, 25 Nov 2004 09:17:39 GMT

please just give me a fucking cigarette or i will massive retaliation your ass!

"i can't explain it and I don't know if it makes sense but it's like I have a hole and am looking for something to fill it. People can't fill this hole, they're too unpredictable and when they disappoint me the hole just grows"

i'm so glad work and school is finally done with for the week, it's dragged on so long. and you'd think that it being thanksgiving and everything that i wouldn't be this stressed out still but whatever, i'll be fine dandy. it might be just me and the kiddos today if shit doesn't get better, just so sick and tired of it...it's a fucking joke, despite what the movies say. on a much lighter and happier note, i got to see my favoritest korean at ucla and ate there, traffic was worth it.my new friends frank is making geology a whole lot less shitier, thank goodness for that guy.AND today one of the tutors that uses our library brought us a paradise cake, which is my favorite and brenda let me take half of it home =)i left some for breakfast but someone doesn't know the damn concept of sharing and ate it all. I AM THE FAT KID THAT LOVES CAKE, but that's ok. boys night out have been keeping me calm and the new jimmy makes me want to fall in love and posing a safety hazard to other drivers because i zone out sometimes.but it's good times. is it really so bad to live in bubble? i mean really...all that bad shit, and stuff and people that remind you of that are just blocked out and you never have to think about them again.it's not like it's free of stress, just free of shit...and it's not like you're totally isolating yourself from everything, there's door, where you can come in and we can eat gummy bears or something, and watch that 70's show, i don't know sounds like a damn good idea if you ask me. oh.. everyone at work were dropping like flies, i swear the only healthy ones were me tish and paul, but i was hardcore disinfecting everything while paul was laughing at me. so you all need to wash your hands with scalding hot water after touching things that don't belong to you and carry a can of lysol in your pockets and purse. that was your public service annoucement. someone eat some ham for me today because i'm not getting any..

yellowcard on friday bitches!!

</3

don't talk to me don't acknowledge me anymore i'm just another score!!!

Fri, 03 Sep 2004 16:08:17 GMT

right now i feel guilty to be alive. Why? Because I'm wasting it. I've been given this life and all I do is mope it away What's worst is I am totally aware of how ridiculous I am. It would be a lot more easier if I believed I was the center of the universe, because then I wouldn't know any better not to make a big deal out of everything. I know how small my problems are, yet that doesn't stop me from obessing about them. I have to stop doing this. How do other people get happy? I look at people laughing and smiling and enjoying themselves and try to get inside their heads. How do they do it? Or is it everyone but me? Why does everything i see bother me? why can't i just get over these daily wrong doings? why can't i just ove and make the best of what i've got? i wish i knew.

40 dollars for a bag of rocks is ridiculous. having to haul around about 15 pounds of rocks weekly for 7 weeks is even MORE ridiculous.
first week of school = done! 15 more to go. saw nick and wes, and nicknapped nick from wes, and make sweet love to him... LoL NO.... save your angry letters and phone calls.
dan, both andrews, jesse, adam , nate and chad are my loves because they tell me it's okay and they hurt sometimes too. has anyone heard the 'underwear outside the pants" song? it's hilarous... i could have sworn i've heard it on comedy centeral or something like that. if you know who it is and tell me, you win a special prize. honest. scouts honor =)
Do.What.You.Do.To.Forget.

that's so fin!.

Tue, 31 Aug 2004 20:12:47 GMT

i've always had a hunch the world hates me.... but today just confirms it. the classes i've had so far aren't too bad, i'm worried about the italian mostly but the teacher doesn't seem all like last semesters so maybe i'll be ok. of all the 50 million classes long beach offers who ends up being not in one.. but TWO of my classes one including a 3 hours lab? the girl that hates my guts. this is SO high school and i've personally never had a problem with her, because i just flat out don't know her. she walks into a pretty empty lab and where does she decied to sit, right across from me. yes, i know your pretty, and i know your skinny and just eveything i'm not, but please for fucking pete's sake, just ignore me like everyone else does, and stop making feel like a bigger loser piece of shit than i already feel like..

as you go through life you learn that, more than half the people you care for don't care for you back, and don't give a fuck about you. so what the point of waiting around and in my case, getting all bummed out and disappointed. you got to go out and do things for youself... easier said than done..

my heart is broken in gardana =( and i miss it.

just fucking amazing...... my heart.

Sun, 29 Aug 2004 09:07:30 GMT

NameTaken = <3

how'd i'd love to try and live life..

Fri, 27 Aug 2004 05:56:44 GMT

"I believe in change, and I believe in second chances. We are young, we change, we go through phases, and no matter what, we cannot change the past, we cannot undo what is done.. We can deal with the present, and improve our future."

here goes nothing..wish me luck.

stop the search party it's been found....

Sat, 21 Aug 2004 05:22:45 GMT

yes.. ladies and gentlemen i have found it, my heart..see if you love something and you let it go... wait in my case i lost it, AND i'm a frickin' idiot. enough said. i'm exicted and a half about next saturday, but i'm not excited about school starting up the following monday. this'll mean jack shit to almost all of you, but that's okay, it's something to me and it's a slow night, and doesn't look like it's getting better,so this'll keep me busy.
"take what you want from me, and i think i can't feel anymore"
"is this what we're fighting for? so why don't you tell me how it was too little too late"
" i'm not with you, when you say, it won't mean a thing love"
"this was never suppose to happen, no ones meant to know about us"
"it sounds prettier in spainish"

so i'm bored again....what else is new...

Sun, 15 Aug 2004 00:55:13 GMT

these last few days have been hawt.. especially in the granda/reseda area geez louise...hahah get it louise st.. anyways... maybe you don't, but that's okay.. i had a super rocking time yesterday, it was us jimmy jammas...greats times. with phillpiness and a a few 'hollarations' thrown in there what more could this jan ban ask for?.... maybe less claminess, but if i've learned anything, you can't win them all. i'll elaborate on this later. omg omg.. at tilly's in ventura, non other than the gorgeous andrew graced us with his prensence. and i hearts him oh-so-much. so hopefully with a few stops at ikea, target and other house stuff selling stores, and a few hours of handy dandy work, i can finally finsh up this bad boy that i hopefully, hopefully ::fingers crossed:: won't be living in too long, again with everything, we'll just have to see. i get to see cheeto and hopefully mikeeli, in a few hours, to take away the cat that's been like my best friend for the past few days. yay a familiar face from the south bay area, because everyone seems to be MIA for a while now... well i know where miss ko is but everyone else just packed up and disapeared on me...=/ speaking of mia.... name taken is mia.... ::cries in despair::.. that's like my heart right there...major crisis in play.. i'm sending out a search party. consisting of me so far wish me luck..

you know what i miss? compton ass-teri and the ambiguously gay duo...

<3

damn... missed it by a minute.. newho..

Sat, 14 Aug 2004 07:03:50 GMT

to one of the awesomest dudes ever:
happy birthday phillip!!!!!!!!!!

why do i feel hungover??? i don't drink.. at least i don't remember drinking...

Tue, 10 Aug 2004 01:34:35 GMT

i came home from work.. and fell asleep like a dead person, and just woke up.. and now i'll be sorta messed up for the week... and i think i slept too hard.. woke up aching.. =/ i had a dream that i was running away from i guess a mini grim reaper?...i was on campus but it didn't look like campus, and running up and down stairs..and was scared to death.. and all because i didn't confirm my classes which is dumb because in real life you don't have to do that...the last few dreams i remember i've been running away a lot and losing control of things like cars.. and i had a britney boa in one of them too..?? pretty darn weird. and people who i haven't seen in like a year literally... have been poping up in these dreams...what does it all mean!?!?! looks like i'll be up for hours on end...

well i'm off like a dirty shirt..

Sat, 07 Aug 2004 22:53:35 GMT

I am flower named misfiteddork !

I consist of my friends!

Are you flower too?

what does it mean, when it doesn't look like a flower ????=(

i loove him, and true love last forever..- emma thompson.

Sat, 07 Aug 2004 22:48:43 GMT

it's been a while, and it's back to me and andrew again, i guess i've missed him...

i have blue hand smurf from the excessive stamping i've done, it's an 8 hour work day today, and maybe the next few days, i'm thinking of taking on some more hours to kill time. while picking up, this is what i came across, you just can't make this crap up: " from the moment his rogue stallion mounted her virgin mare, Matt acknowledged a reality lovely widow Juliana Rains refused to admit: Some drives were too fierce, too powerful, to deny. .. like his love for the genteel widow whose sweet lips and delicious curves made him as uncontrollable as any wild stud"

as nicole and paris would say, "that's hot!!" and that's what i'm in charge of. makes you just all want to come to the library huh?

it's binge time!!!

I still love the people,I've loved even if I have to cross the street to avoid them

.bored and hungry.

Wed, 04 Aug 2004 20:00:34 GMT

Name Four Bad Habits You Have:

1. not looking you in the eye when i talk
2. bad posture
3. doing nothing when i'm nervous, scared, shit out of luck, or i've fucked up.
4.

Name Four Things That You Wish You Had:

1. money
2. someone to love me
3. britney spear's abs.
4.

Name Four Scents You Love:

1. out of the shower smell
2. clothes straight out of the dryer
3. boy perfume.... old spice?
4. love spell/ so pink

Name Four People That Know You the Best:
1. not best.. but like semi-well.. this is sad...
2.
3.
4.

Name Four Things You'd Never Wear:

1. leather
2. suade
3. mesh tops
4. the one shirt where it's ripped in the middle... whatever.

Name Four Things You Are Thinking About Now:

1. this fattie is very hungry.
2. i think i've started 19 years wrong, and i'm in too deep to fix it. so i'd like to restart.
3. where'd everyone go?
4.

Name Four Things That You Have Done Today:

1. disappointed my mother.
2. read cosmo during my break
3. hipchecked about everything in this library
4. work

Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought:

1. a buttload of gas.
2 a del taco burrito
3. parking
4. parking ticket

Name Four People You Would Like To Spend More Time With:

1. phillip
2. linda ko
3.
4.

Name The Last Four Worst Events That Have Happened To You:
not really WORST but it sucked.
1. losing a friend, who no longer wants to be my friend, and not understanding why.
2.
3.
4.

5 Things you are wearing

1. rufio shirt
2 jeans
3. chucks
4. socks
5. underoos.

5 things you are doing right now

1. starving
2. waiting for work to end
3. sitting
4. semi-sulking
5. doing this

10 people who need to die

1. nobody really.. me maybe.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

1. What do you most like about your body?: um...i have small wrists?
2. And least?: the whole package?.. probably my feet
3. How many fillings do you have? zero! yay me.
4. Do you think you're good looking?: nope
5. Do other people often tell you that you that you're good looking?: when they're drunk =)
6. Do you look like any celebrities? james franco=) and the list goes on and on.

1. Do you wear a watch? nope, i might lose it.
2. How many coats and jackets do you own? not sure.
3. Favorite pants/skirt color? jeans
4. Most expensive item of clothing? ???

1. Do your friends 'know' you?: um... ::shrugs::
2. What do they tend to be like?: pretty awesome
3. Are there traits in you that are universally liked?:
4. How many people do you tell everything to?: maybe 3ish?.. then again i'm naive and trust almst anyone.

1. Favorite band ever?: there's so many, brand new..tbs.
2. Most listened to bands(lately): matchbook romance, fall out boy.
3. Do you find any musicians good-looking?: oh gosh yes..
4. Can you play an instrument?: kinda sorta
5. Type of music never listened to?: not really...

GENERAL QUESTIONS:

1. Are you a virgin?: yah, so what?
2. Do you drink/smoke?: nope
3. Do you have a boy/girl friend?: no one will have me.. LoL
4. Do you have a crush?: kinda
5. Does your crush like you:? not sure... we'll go with i hope
6. What do you prefer, a sunny or rainy day?: sunny
7. Do you consider yourself lucky?: yes, and i should bitch about stupid stuff.
8. One word to describe how you feel most often: okay
9. One word to describe how you feel most as of lately: okay
10. One word to describe your actions: lacking.

yay and i'm off work now..

sometimes things just work that way....

Mon, 02 Aug 2004 03:10:21 GMT

"promise" came on the tv out of no where.. and made me very happy... there were about 5 episodes of reno in a row last night.... and benadryll, will forever knock me out no matter what.. it's little stupid things that make you forget for a split second how crappy things are..my brand new shirt came in the other day but it's a men's large...=/ i need to alter it. saw liz avila today at amc.... she says i still sound the same... the line at best buy was mondo long...i was bummed because i really wanted those cd's...=( tomorrow's another day. the weekend is always too damn short on my weekends off. shut up or i'll fight club your ass.. i think i'm a "debbie downer" and i make people around feel bad when they're around me, which explains this pushing away of people from me, and me away from them... i'm going to stop it, and keep shit to myself even more so.. i love napolian dynamite, and i so spelled that wrong. some lady sitting next to me got a little mad because i guess, she came to see it for a second time for the extra footage and i guess amc didn't show it or we had to wait. i don't know but she was complaining to me about it... i didnt' know what to do. ugh... everything's going to be okay, and even if it wasn't no one would know.. hey guess what? you can get 20 boxs of kraft mac & cheese for 10 dollars....,. guess whose going to albertsons? =)

<333

you can't talk about fight club.... and you can't question project mayhem... ?

Thu, 29 Jul 2004 22:01:35 GMT

there's just something truely wrong with me, mish left me, and my mom has fucking been here for less than 3 days and we're already fighting, now i find out that my own father has a problem with me. i'm just a cold-hearted bitch that makes it impossible for anyone, including myself to love. it's gotten to the point where i'm just thinking of finding some dude.. fuck his brains out and maybe, just maybe he'll let me move in with him, because all i have is 500 hundred in the bank. and if i just pretend that he loves me, it might be okay. quit school, and work full time and get another job.. and hopefully in 4-6 months i'll have enough money to get the hell out and live on my own. thta sounds SO fucking horrible, but this feels horrible too. and where'd all my money go? if my dad ever said anything wise, it's " you only depend on yourself, because if you don't you get hurt" and this proves it.

i found my cellphone in the back seat of my car.but then again it's not like anyone calls me, so what else is new?...
i saw super model robert, he's just as sweet as ever...
name taken is playing at the roxy on the 28th.... hmmm... i want to go.... because i've already missed them once..hopefully i won't spend the next 4 weeks sitting in this hellhole....

i think i'm going to watch fight club again.... because in the middle of it my mom decieded to call the homeland and sit next to me in the living room talking at an insanely loud volume.. and jordon caldalano SO got his ass kicked..

i'll be going through withdrawl of you for this one night we had spent

Tue, 27 Jul 2004 18:55:12 GMT

this weekend was good, it was an awesome way to end my 4 weeks by myself, i just wish it was like this from the beginning. caught up some with cheeto, and his mom fed me like there was no tomorrow. it was great. saw my favoritest korean ever, linda ko, and we ventured through traffic, and got to see venice beach but not go down because parking there SUCKS saturday afternoons. so we just went to 3rd which was still fun and caught up like we normally do. spent some time with silly boy, and finally saw mark, after what i don't know.. forever at barnes and noble. and went to see the love of his life, she just doesn't really know that yet.

i watched soppia coppola's dvd last night, it was kind of a dark movie but i loved it.... but i think the book was better.

cake with heavy frosting is great at 10 in the morning.=) although my stomatch feels a little funny now..

yay.. fight club came in for me.. it better be damn good. anyone wanna watch with me?

i think i have official developed a celeb. crush on james franco.

so i was reading cosmo, not just looking at the fashion ads but reading, and i've don't think i've ever said.. 'oh my gosh' so many times before...the things i know now...hahah

you know you haven't seen someone in a while when they've said you've lost weight ( and you know damn well, you gained 5, so imagine how big you were before.. )

i get to pick up my family in 10 minutes.. here's hoping traffic doesn't suck on the 405 right about now.

i think i've lost my cell phone... =/

i don't know, i think i'm tired or just thinking about something else. but i've managed to hip-check just about everything in this library the past few days.. and a new found jan-fact, i bruise easy..::shrugs:: oh well..

<333

where is your boy tonight, i hope he's a gentlemen and maybe he wont find out what i know....

Mon, 19 Jul 2004 18:43:03 GMT

work is boring....i want/need a second job, so more money rolls in and i can get the hell out of here.

has anyone seen linda ko lately. because i haven't and i miss her...

Bury me standing under your window with the cinder block in hand
Yeah cause no one will ever feel like this again
And if I could move I'm sure it would only be to crawl back to you
I must have dragged my guts a block... they were gone by the time we (talked)...

I want to hate you half as much as I hate myself
But you know that I could crush you with my voice

Stood on my roof and tried to see you forgetting about me
Hide the details I don't want to know a thing

I hate the way you say my name like it's something secret
My pen is the barrel of the gun. Remind me which side you should be on
I WISH THAT I WAS AS INVISIBLE AS YOU MAKE ME FEEL

stop the yelling and glaring at me I'm already trying to not kill myself.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 21:41:17 GMT

have you ever done anything knowing full well, you'll be bummed out and upset afterwards, but did it anyways because you're hoping that it won't make you upset. But in the end you figured out a million years too late that you're a dumbass, and should've just minded your own damn business?

why is it, when i'm at like del taco, or in n out and they hand me the receipt with my number on it... i lose it within 3 seconds, and for the next 5 minutes i'm frantically looking for it because the fattie needs to be fed, to find out that i really don't need my receipt because its the same person that took my order and they somewhat remember me.

i'm starting to rethink my italy trip, i think i'm bitching out on it kinda..but it's still very much an opition not that anyone cares.. but the more i think about it the more i want to go to england. i mean i've been there, we speak the same language. english accents melt my heart, to me i have a greater chance of getting me a nice english boy then a hot italian sex god...haha.. but that just a side note...

on the same topic... it's come to my attention that the 'scene boys' are my cup of tea... guess me and det need to hightail to the 909 and get us some.=).... 'get us some' as in 'scene boys'...

i have a about a week before they come back... isn't anyone,anyones willing to make it worth while and rock my socks???... it would be nice...

that's a lot, for having said absolutely nothing.....

this heat is making me sweat worst than pre-trimspa anna nicole in a sauna.

so i did it and guess what??.. i look like boy ...=/

Tue, 13 Jul 2004 00:44:34 GMT

that's just fucking great...

it's sucks that i have to go back to school in about a month and a half.where'd the summer go?

it's still pretty much been very blah.. to the point of boredom, but on sat. tara and phillip(</3> I </3></center>

damnit things need to change around here! and dude.. maybe i do need a hug....

well yah.. i was watching me some tv the other day and boom, there's yellowcard, mind you phillip got me into them just before they got all big, and well what i saw on the tv was the making the video for " only one" it's i was like yay for yellowcard,, but boo.. that's a really awesome song and i hope real hard it doesn't get overplayed and become another "reason" anyways...i just wanted to post and dedicate to my future lover, whom i'm still searching for....

"Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a
I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one
Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one"

that was slightly lame, but then again i've been living too long caring about what other people think.